Getting old blows. The non stop butterscotch cravings.  Shoulder length ear hair. Your sleeve becomes a Kleenex dispenser.....nipples are 6 inches lower than their original position.  Obscene noises and disgusting odors emanating from your flabby physique.  Diminished physical and mental capabilities.  Man it sucks.  Well on the bright side you've celebrated dozens and dozens of birthdays without dying!!  Congrats!!  Instead of buying expensive creams or treatments....just distract people from your aging face with a funny t shirt.  And if the font looks familiar it's cause its from the movie PORKY'S!  Remember that movie?!  If you do that means this shirt is for you.

ALL of our prints are available on other styles of shirts and items.  Tank tops, hoodies, ringers, raglans, shoes, coffee mugs etc. Message us on instagram @tshirttimemachine or email at [email protected] 

We'll set it up.